Evening in small town USA :)

Well I DID get out and play around with my camera, so I'm sharing a few.  Love my f1.4 lens because I can shoot in low light...and I love the evening light.  These pictures were taken between 8 and 8:30 PM.  Seriously.

Oh...and my cat is certifiably crazy.  He got inside my car today when it was parked in the driveway - through the window that was down only 2 1/2 inches!  No lie - I measured.  I should have taken a picture of him sitting in there crying but I was too panicked to get him out.  Then you should have seen the interior (black/charcoal cloth)... covered with hair.  Oh Alfred, you're just a mess.
Thanks for reading (and looking)!  Love, Susan

Taking a chemo break :)

Hi all,
So I'm sort of on a little "chemo vacation"...that is, a vacation from chemo.  Because my next round was due to start on Sept 6th, but that's Labor Day, so Barb (nurse) said "we'll just wait another week".  That was good news to me.  Though I want to get it all over with, after last week I needed a break - mentally at least.  I pulled away from the hospital on Monday relishing the idea that I had nearly 3 full weeks before another round starts - and I should feel pretty good for most of that time.  
The blood transfusion was good for me - I was able to go back to work on Wednesday of this week and I worked the remainder of the week...and I plan to work full-time for the next 2 weeks as well.  I'm also hoping that this will give my middle some time to heal...because I still have a lot of discomfort in my incision/surgery area.  You would think that it's been long enough, but I can only guess that the chemo is preventing the normal amount of healing to happen. 
I'm also happy to say that my interest in life is returning.  :)  I'm thinking about going out with my camera tomorrow and playing around.  Just a warning...that means you'll probably have to endure some photos in my next post!
Thanks for all the cards and well-wishes that keep on coming.  Have a great weekend and thanks for reading.
Love, Susan

Round 3 done!

Well I have been woefully out of touch...I'm sorry.  Last week was kinda rough for me, but a lot of that was my fault I'm afraid.  The effects of the chemo were building up toward the end of the week and then I had the blood transfusion looming ahead, which I should have seen as a GOOD thing, but for some reason I got kind of freaked out by it and that made the emotional and physical symptoms worse (nervousness, jitters, upset stomach, etc).  Anyway, suffice it to say that I'm VERY glad to have last week behind me.  The transfusion was originally going to happen on Saturday; then we discussed doing it on Monday so I didn't have to spend a weekend day in the hospital; then the nurse suggested I get an early start on my chemo Friday and just go straight up to get blood after that.  That's what I did and - now that it's over - it was a good decision, it's just that it was a very long day and...well...I didn't start it in a very good frame of mind.  Poor Ginny drove me that morning and she had to help me pull it together.  I got chemo from 7:30 AM to about 12:30 PM, then went upstairs to "short stay" for the blood transfusion.  They infused 3 units at a rate of 2 1/2 hours per unit - so I was there until probably 8:30 or 9:00 PM.  They gave me Adavan (sp?) twice on Friday to help me relax, so I slept through parts of the day.
I DO think the blood was helpful - I feel pretty good today - I don't have so much of that wiped out feeling. Have to go the hospital in a little bit to get a shot of Neulasta.  
I gotta be honest, I'm a little worried about the fact that I lack any interest or excitement about anything.  I just feel so blah all the time...which isn't normal for me.  I know it's a beautiful day and I should probably go out for a short walk but I just have no motivation. Ah well, hopefully this will also pass.
Larry just pulled in to mow my yard...bless him.  Marjie please tell him THANK YOU once again.  I'm so grateful (still) for everything everyone has done and still does for me.
Thanks for reading.  Love, Susan 

Round 3, here we go

Today begins round 3.  I had blood drawn first this morning and it was analyzed quickly.  So when the dr came in to see me the results were back. My white cell count was good but the red cell count was low.  It was not low enough to postpone my treatments this week, but he wants me to have a blood transfusion.  It looks like that might happen on Saturday - I have to go to the hospital for that...in what they call "short stay". Yippee.
Anyway, today was fine - just got 3 liters of fluids after seeing the dr., so other than my belly feeling bloated, I'm okay.  I shouldn't wish time away...especially with the beautiful weather we're having, but I just want this week to go by quickly.
We got Lindsey moved into her apt over the weekend.  I'll try to post a couple pictures tomorrow.
Thanks for reading.
Love, Susan

Preparing for round 3

Round 3 begins Monday 8/16.  Some of you may not know...because I never really made this clear on my blog...but I am going to the Cancer Center at St. Joseph Hosp in Kokomo for my treatments now.  The Dr thought I handled it well enough when I was at St. Vincent (for round 1) that he said I could have the remainder of my treatments in Kokomo.  The best part about that is that I can go home at the end of each day.  The week goes pretty much like this:  I go in Monday, they draw blood, I see the Dr, then they give me fluids only.  Tuesday through Friday I go in about 9AM, they give me some fluids first, followed by pre-chemo drugs (anti-nausea, etc.), followed by chemo drugs, followed by more fluids, and then I can go home (typically about 3PM). 
I'm feeling pretty well today- of course it's the middle of my "week 3" right now so that's when I feel best.  But I'm trying to enjoy what's left of that feeling...trying to do normal things during the next several days, and trying to get myself mentally pumped up to start another round. 
We're moving Lindsey to her apt in Lafayette this weekend, so that should be fun and the time will probably go by fast.
Thanks for reading.
Susan

Graduation

This has nothing to do with cancer...nice break, huh?  But I said earlier I would blog about Lindsey's graduation and I'm finally getting to it. 
Here's my baby girl - graduating from Colorado State University.  She was a University Honors Scholar and Equine Science Honors Scholar with an Equine Science major and a Business Administration minor.  So proud of her.  In a couple weeks, she'll be starting Veterinary school at Purdue.  Woo!

And I thought you might like to see a couple of the babies at the horse farm where she worked.  They're all so cute.

Thanks for reading,  Susan

Moral of the story: when experienced people give you advice, listen to it.

I went to work for most of the day yesterday (Thurs) and felt good, but this morning woke up with a very sore throat and swollen/sore gums. I have to confess, I did some things I shouldn't have - like I flossed my teeth yesterday and like I haven't been good about using the mouthwash regularly. Ahhhh - why don't I listen to the voice of experience.  Beth told me...the nurse told me...
The dr called in some meds for my mouth and put antibiotics on hold in case this turns into an upper respiratory thing.  At first I was worried because I'm right in the middle of that 10-14 day low immunity period. But I don't think it's any kind of infection at all - just mouth sores. I'm feeling better as the day goes on and I got some work done from home on the laptop so it wasn't a complete bust.
It's a beautiful day out there and I have my windows open, which feels wonderful!  I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Thanks for reading,  Susan

My watchcat

He sits in "his" chair - arm propped up on the arm of the chair - and keeps an eye on me. When I'm feeling really wiped out like I have the last few days, I spend a lot of time in the rocking chair and Alfred does seem genuinely concerned about me.  Probably just doesn't want to miss the moment when I get up and feed him, but...

The REAL caretaker has been Lindsey - she's with me almost all the time and is always asking if I'm okay and if I need anything.  But she doesn't like her picture taken. :)  It really stinks that this has been most of her summer but she says she doesn't mind.

I'm hanging in there friends.  I think the last few days were the "bottom out" days - at least I'm hoping so.  I just want to shake this feeling of ...yuck...and being pulled down whenever I try to do something.  I went back to the cancer center today to get a Neulasta shot and to see Dr. Gupta.  He keeps telling me I'm doing very well and I'm superwoman and all that and sometimes I want to scream "No I'm not - I feel like crap".  But I don't. 

I lost that 14# of water weight - pretty crazy to go up and down that much in a few days.  It seems like the "getting over it" process is going a little faster this time - I hope I'm not just imagining that. 

I miss everyone.  I miss leading a normal life.  One of these days...

Thanks for all your cards, thoughts, prayers, calls, food, everything.

Thanks for reading.  Love, Susan